Every single day, Satan brings marital relationships to a painful end, by using a weapon that has been most effective since the beginning of time: adultery.

The consequences of adultery are great anguish for the betrayed, shame for the betrayer and turmoil and confusion for countless innocent children. Satan watches the suffering he causes humanity and rejoices—every single day.

From the beginning, God knew, all too well, the horrific consequences that adultery would have had on humanity and, thus, He forbad it in the Ten Commandments.

To God marriage is holy and the union between man and women is sacred. Adultery turns that which is holy into something unholy; that which is sacred into something profane.

^“And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.” (Leviticus 20:10 KJV).

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge”(Hebrews 13:4).

Thus, Paul totally supports the Old Testament teaching that marriage is holy and that polluting it invites God’s wrath.

OPEN TO ADULTERY

How are we doing in this regard? Are we clean? What about mental adultery? Could it be that our mind is filled with mental adultery, like most American men and women seem to be? If so, Christ made it clear that even mental adultery was unacceptable.

You have heard that it was said to those of old, “You shall not commit adultery.” ²⁸^{But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has

already committed

adultery with her in his heart(Matthew
5:27-28).}

Men are visually driven. That is one of the well established differences between men and women. Men are attracted by skin. The more skin is exhibited the more the male mind wants to look and lust. Some women are attracted visually as well, but, overall, women tend not to be attracted by skin as much as men.

WHAT ABOUT WOMEN?

Christian women need to be aware of this reality. Christian women should dress modestly and not contribute to this problem. That is why skirts should be as close to the knee as possible. Skirts that pull up when sitting will attract men’s eyes and it can lead to lust in men.

Low-cut dresses are a problem. Very low-back dresses are a problem as well, though not as much. Very tight skirts can be a problem, as they tend to attract male attention. Very tight pants are a problem as well. The male mind tends to go beyond the pants and immediately visualizes what’s under the cloth, thus leading to lust.

In Summer, shorts should not be very short. Very short shorts become exceptionally short when one bends down. And they should not be very tight either.

Christian women should strive to be conservative with their bathing suits, as should be men, of course.

Shaunti Feldhahn, in her book, What I Didn't Know About Men, informs us that “Men are visual.” She then adds, “What that means in practice: Even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other women.” [ii]

Yes, men are visual. Christian men have to struggle with this tendency as well—and struggle they must! God expects us to keep our eyes under control and to turn away, as soon as we feel lustful feelings.

Christian men cannot blame women, if they lust. They cannot say, “It’s their fault, because they dress seductively.” We men must look away, when that is necessary; we must switch channel, when that is required; we must leave the room, if something could lead us to lust.

Christian women are expected to help Christian men in this regard, by making this problem next to nonexistent in the church. Christian women should never be the subject of unwanted attention, because of revealing too much of their bodies.

When it comes to fighting adultery, the best approach is to nip it in the bud. We must be well aware of traps brought to us by Satan.

THE STAGES OF ADULTERY

Adultery doesn’t just happen; there are stages that precede it. Before Adultery there is the meeting of someone. This leads to liking the someone, which leads to wanting to be around the someone, which leads to infatuation and obsessive thinking about the person, which leads to secret meetings and, finally, the consummation — and then guilt, and then possible addiction to the adultery, and then more guilt, and then moving away from God and His people, and then serious problems within the family, and then fracturing of marriages, and then deep depression and finally spiritual death, unless repented of.

Women tend to be particularly susceptible to emotional attachments. In fact, some carry on with emotional adultery and never go into the actual adultery. Even so, their heart is alienated from their husbands and, thus, they are mentally in a state of adultery.

It is important to be aware of the steps listed above and to put an end to them, once recognized.

The major key is to ask God immediately for help to resist and be delivered from the temptation, or Satan will pull us in, until resisting will be next to impossible.

Proverbs chapter 5 dedicates several verses to warning us about the evils of adultery.

My son, pay attention to my wisdom;
Lend your ear to my understanding,
²That you may preserve discretion,
And your lips may keep knowledge.
³For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey,
And her mouth is smoother than oil;
⁴But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.
⁵Her feet go down to death,
Her steps lay hold of hell.
⁶Lest you ponder her path of life—
Her ways are unstable;
You do not know them.

⁷ Therefore hear me now, my children,
And do not depart from the words of my mouth.
⁸Remove your way far from her,
And do not go near the door of her house,
⁹Lest you give your honor to others,
And your years to the cruel one;
¹⁰Lest aliens be filled with your wealth,
And your labors go to the house of a foreigner;
¹¹And you mourn at last,
When your flesh and your body are consumed,
¹²And say:
“How I have hated instruction,
And my heart despised correction!
¹³I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers,
Nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me!
¹⁴I was on the verge of total ruin,
In the midst of the assembly and congregation.”

¹⁵ Drink water from your own cistern,
And running water from your own well.
¹⁶Should your fountains be dispersed abroad,
Streams of water in the streets?
¹⁷Let them be only your own,
And not for strangers with you.
¹⁸Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
¹⁹As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.
²⁰For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman,
And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?

²¹For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord,
And He ponders all his paths.
²²His own iniquities entrap the wicked man,
And he is caught in the cords of his sin.
²³He shall die for lack of instruction,
And in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.

God inspired Solomon to give such a long warning because He is well aware of the power of sexual temptations on the part of immoral women and wants all men to be proactive and to stay away from such temptresses, when they come across them.

The principle, of course, applies to women as well. There are lots of very seductive handsome men around who will say and do all it takes to manipulate and seduce naive women, so as to use them sexually and then abandon them to guilt, shame and ruin.

HOW TO PREVENT ADULTERY

Adultery is, therefore, to be evaded. The pulls toward adultery must be fought. The best way to fight adultery is to be proactive. Here are some principles that may help:

1. We must accept the fact that adultery can happen to each and every one of us.

^“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall” (I Corinthians 10:12).

Sexual temptations worked with mighty David, and they can work with us as well—and it can happen when we least expect it. Thus, we can safely expect that Satan will most probably try it on us mentally, or in real life. Christians must always be on guard and expect the possibility that Satan may attack at any time.

3. Let’s not forget that a person who commits adultery doesn’t just betray a mate—he/she betrays God as well.

If a Christian falls to Satan’s temptation, he or she will not just abandon his relationship with his or her mate, he/she abandons his or her relationship with God.

The greatest betrayal is of the Father who loves us and the Son who died for our sins.

4. Know for certain that adultery may be hidden from man, but not from God, and that God, in time, will make it come out in the open.

There are many examples where God made sure that the affair was found out in the most amazing of ways—even though it may have been hidden with great care.

5. Know that punishment will for certain follow—and sometimes it is quite drastic.

There will be mental agony at first in the form of guilt and then depression and anger and then whatever consequence God has in store for the adulterer, which could be quite painful.

^“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge“(Hebrews 13:4).

This implies a firm consequence on God’s part, so as to get the adulterer to repent.

6. Know that adultery, even if it is just mental and emotional, separates from God and, thus, it takes away God’s protection, and opens the doors to curses—and to attacks from Satan.

Sin separates from God—and it links us to Satan. When we commit adultery, we move into the Devil’s camp and we become his servants. The great enemy will finally reward us with pain, anguish and even disasters.

7. Know that if we are tolerant of the stages that precede consummation, the rest will be hard to resist.

Adultery starts in the mind. It starts with thoughts and emotions. Unless it is caught at the early stages, it will turn into an obsession which will potentially translate into action.

^{“For
out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications,
thefts, false witness, blasphemies”}(Matthew 15:19).

We, therefore, must fight evil thoughts as they arise, and must do our utmost to prevent them from finding residence in our minds.

By doing so we don't have to fight a more powerful battle later on, when the temptation may be a lot harder to resist.

TV: Sexually explicit shows and movies, soap operas. They intentionally use very attractive, and seductive men and women to get watchers to become addicted.

The Internet: A great blessing and a great curse. Way too many Christians have become slaves to pornographic web sites. The Internet has become one of Satan's greatest tools. If Christians become addicted, and they don’t stop—the end result can be disastrous.

Porno Movies: Watching pornographic movies means inviting disaster, even if watched with one's mate. It will invariably lead to lusting and fantasizing about the seductive actor or actress. It is poison!

Meeting new people makes the possibility for adultery greater. As the number of women who enters the work force increases so does the level of adultery.

We Christian men and women must be fully aware of this and must always be on guard. If someone is getting too close, keep your distance. Make your values evident. Make your commitment evident. Keep your language clean, and wear conservative. By so doing, you will project a clean image.

If you have problems with your mate, know that Satan will provide kind, understanding, loving men or women to entrap you.

Many affairs have started with supportive friends of the opposite sex, during difficult times. Such friendships can easily deteriorate into strong emotional and, finally, sexual relationships.

Spending much non-work-related time alone with fellow workers of the opposite sex is very risky. It can, in time, lead to adultery—and then disaster.

10. Pray every morning Christ’s prayer: “Deliver us from evil or the Evil One.”

Why? Because Jesus knew that every day Satan would try to trap us. God’s help is critical to protect us from falling into Satan’s well-planned traps.

11. The greater the closeness to God the greater the ability to see danger approaching, and the greater will be the strength to say “No!” when the temptation comes our way.

Christ’s words, “The flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41) is absolutely true and in Satan’s hands it becomes very weak.

Satan uses temptation to get us to commit adultery, quite successfully, and we must resist and fight and persist in the fight day in and day out.

12. Jesus Christ also gave us the secret to success and it is found in the Gospel of Matthew.

“Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26: 41).

Though the flesh is weak, God’s spirit is willing, that is, it is willing and able to do move us to do what is right. It is willing to help us say no, when a man or woman comes our way as Satan’s instrument to get us to sin.

WHAT IF YOU HAVE COMMITTED ADULTERY?

If you have committed adultery, and you are a Christian or a person of faith, you have tasted the bitter consequences of this destructive sin. You have tasted the guilt and the shame; you have experienced the negative impact it can have on one's self esteem.

You may have also seen the consequences on your marital relationship and on others around you.

To you God says very simply, "Repent and start anew." If you repent and ask for forgiveness, you will be a new person. If your repentance is sincere, to God you will be totally clean.

Just remember Jesus Christ's words to the woman caught in adultery: "Go and sin no more" (John 8:11 KJV).

WHAT IF YOU ARE STILL COMMITTING ADULTERY?

If you are now committing adultery, and you are convinced that your sinful behavior is wrong and that it must end, wait no longer. It is never too late. God longs to see you stop hurting yourself and others. His words to you are the following:

"Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool" (Isaiah 1:18 KJV).

Please listen to His invitation and spare yourself all the mounting anguish that awaits you, if you won't stop.

THE POWERFUL TOOLS AT OUR DISPOSAL

The problem of adultery, therefore, abounds. It is a serious problem with serious consequences. But the solutions abound as well and they are very simple: Prayer, Bible study and fasting.

By having an intimate relationship with God, we are daily energized to fight temptations—and to win. God will provide us with unlimited energy to resist, and finally Satan will flee from us, as the Scriptures promise.

They are three barriers that Satan cannot penetrate. They are weapons that the flesh cannot win against.

CONCLUSION

As we have seen, adultery has become a real scourge on society. The consequences are disastrous for the sinner as well as the innocent—especially children.

To fight adultery it is best to be proactive. We must keep in mind that Satan will attack whenever he can and that he will use very seductive men and women to get us to sin.

God is on our side, and He will empower those who want to live a holy life. He is also longing to see those who have been trapped by this sin, stop, repent and strive to live a spiritually clean lives once again.

WORKS CITED

[i] Associated Press, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. In Statistic Brain web site. <http://www.statisticbrain.com/infidelity-statistics> (22-03-2013).

[ii] Feldhahn, Shaunti. "For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men," Mulnomah Publishers. <http://shop.cbn.com/firstchapter.asp?mode=view&index=577> (15-03-2013).

INTRODUCTION

GOD'S PERSPECTIVE